For many days now I have been asked to start my journal about Manjadikuru- the feature film that we are making.
I don't exactly know when or where the journey began... perhaps it was when I found my first red seeds at my tharavadu; or perhaps it was when the first line of the script slipped out onto paper before me. Somewhere started this exploration of my childhood and that of many others with relation to the land we no longer inhabit. The land that holds our roots and our origins. Nostalgia, childhood, reminisces... all these words tend to usually total upto plenty sentimental mush. But beyond those rose-coloured memories- there were others... that shaped the way we thought, the way we sensed and in general the way we grew up.
The touch of moss, the new born puddles, the alert mynas, hot payasam on banana leaf, the hunchbacked sweeper, the baby kittens- I could go on and on... and so I did go on and on and when collated on paper- it turned into some sort of a script. A script that told a story so different from what we usually see on our screens. I was excited that this could be the script of my first feature film. Like every other film graduate- "the feature" rankled in my head all the time!
But there were issues. Being a second generation Malayalee expatriate I had never learnt to read and write Malayalam in school- something I regret very much. Gathering my courage and embarrassment, I asked a friend to translate my English script into a Malayalam draft. She was more a friend than a writer (bless her!), so the result was a stilted literal translation.
This knocked-up-in-a-week version was offered by an apprehensive me to an esteemed writer of Malayalam screenplays. He was kind enough to read it. His comment was - "DON'T MAKE THIS AS YOUR FIRST FILM". To me it sounded more like "DON'T MAKE THIS!" He was vague about the reasons as only genius writers can be - he believed that there was promise in the story but I just hadn't found it! Heartbroken, I set it aside.
I sulked for a while but was soon carried away into other spirited stories. My love affairs with these scripts and characters flourished, but each time my heart was broken, I would run back to this one. Almost like an old flame who turns into an old friend. I'd write a few more pages each time and set it aside again. Somehow now, I was writing for myself and no one else.
I don't exactly know when or where the journey began... perhaps it was when I found my first red seeds at my tharavadu; or perhaps it was when the first line of the script slipped out onto paper before me. Somewhere started this exploration of my childhood and that of many others with relation to the land we no longer inhabit. The land that holds our roots and our origins. Nostalgia, childhood, reminisces... all these words tend to usually total upto plenty sentimental mush. But beyond those rose-coloured memories- there were others... that shaped the way we thought, the way we sensed and in general the way we grew up.
The touch of moss, the new born puddles, the alert mynas, hot payasam on banana leaf, the hunchbacked sweeper, the baby kittens- I could go on and on... and so I did go on and on and when collated on paper- it turned into some sort of a script. A script that told a story so different from what we usually see on our screens. I was excited that this could be the script of my first feature film. Like every other film graduate- "the feature" rankled in my head all the time!
But there were issues. Being a second generation Malayalee expatriate I had never learnt to read and write Malayalam in school- something I regret very much. Gathering my courage and embarrassment, I asked a friend to translate my English script into a Malayalam draft. She was more a friend than a writer (bless her!), so the result was a stilted literal translation.
This knocked-up-in-a-week version was offered by an apprehensive me to an esteemed writer of Malayalam screenplays. He was kind enough to read it. His comment was - "DON'T MAKE THIS AS YOUR FIRST FILM". To me it sounded more like "DON'T MAKE THIS!" He was vague about the reasons as only genius writers can be - he believed that there was promise in the story but I just hadn't found it! Heartbroken, I set it aside.
I sulked for a while but was soon carried away into other spirited stories. My love affairs with these scripts and characters flourished, but each time my heart was broken, I would run back to this one. Almost like an old flame who turns into an old friend. I'd write a few more pages each time and set it aside again. Somehow now, I was writing for myself and no one else.
1 comment:
When the person said,"dont make this as your first film", am sure he/she meant WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT....he he he he ... no seriously, i think its a fantastic journey which you are about to take. People grow old but the child in us stays a child , constantly asking us to join him. I remember magoes never tasted better than when you stole them from your neighbous yard.... and football was never as much fun than playing in rain till your bones started to rattle... whenever i visit the places i grew up, i still see the little tribhuvan scurrying around those bushes or fighting with friends , getting hurt,but still laughing !
hmmmmmmm..... now you got me goin..
tribhu
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